Why Having Sex, Does NOT make you married!
Why Does Having Sex, NOT make you married
– Reviewing Betrothal, Rape scriptures, Fornication & Whoredom on this call also.
One of the main scriptures that is causing many to believe having sex makes you married is …
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:28-29
If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
28יככה יהוה בשגעון ובעורון ובתמהון לבב׃
29והיית ממשש בצהרים כאשר ימשש העור באפלה ולא תצליח את דרכיך והיית אך עשוק וגזול כל הימים ואין מושיע׃
In Deut. 22:28, we read a scenario when man sleeps with a woman, who was a virgin; without asking the father for her hand in marriage . This same man as we read was required to give a dowry to her father & marry his daughter & take her as a wife.
I see how this can be misleading to believe that having sexing makes you married, but we really have to read other scriptures before we come to this conclusion.
THERE ARE MANY REASONS WHY HAVING SEX DOES NOT MAKE YOU MARRIED
Reason #1Why Having Sex Does Not Make you Married
– FATHER’S RIGHT OF REFUSAL
Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 22:16
And if a man ENTICE a MAID that is not betrothed, & lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be HIS WIFE. 17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
The father has a right to refuse any man that sleeps with his daughter. He is not required to give her to a man who sleeps with her. If he were, wouldn’t most men just do that?
If a man takes another man’s virgin daughter without his permission. He must offer to marry her & pay the dowry. The father of the daughter has the right to refuse his offer, but the man will still has to pay the dowry.
In both case (Deut. 22:28 & Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 22:16) the father has a right to refuse the marriage. In Deut. 22:28; We don’t read that the father refused to allow his daughter to marry that man that slept with her, but he still has this right as it is written in Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 22:16. Please understand that a man as COMPLETE CONTROL & AUTHORITY OVER HIS OWN DAUGHTER, praise Yah. Amen.
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:28 explains that a man who sleeps with a woman, who was a virgin, with the father’s permission, may never put her away. It’s basically saying the same thing as in Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 22:16. Its sad to say, but many people think Deut. 22:28 is talking about rape. Please watch this video & read more about “The Truth about Rape in the Scriptures”.
Many who believe that having sex makes you married, use this scripture to prove this fact; but what they are forgetting is the father’s right of refusal. The father still has a right to refuse any man that sleeps with his daughter without asking.
The scriptures do not contradict. Just because Deut. 22:28 is silent about the father’s right of refusal doesn’t mean it not there. It’s there in Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 22:17. His right is never taken away as some may have you believe. So remember: Deut. 22:28 is speaking about a case when the FATHER APPROVES THE HUSBAND, not when he doesn’t. Basically, if the father approves this man that took his daughter without asking can never put her away. I think I have been clear, lets move on…
Reason #2 Why Having Sex Does Not Make you Married
-MANY MEN WHO BELIEVE HAVING SEX MAKES YOU MARRIED, ALSO BELIEVE SO DOES RAPE!
DOES RAPE MAKE YOU MARRIED?
What a crazy thing for me to even ask. But the sad truth is, many who believe that having sex makes you married, are deeply rooted in the idea that, RAPE MAKES YOU MARRIED. Which is false & another misinterpretation of the same scripture verses…
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:28
If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
Please visit this page on my website & watch the video to get more into rape in the scriptures. I will also review it here on this call & page.
Many are lead to believe that Deut. 22:28 is speaking about Rape, & that “when a man rapes a woman, he may never put her away & he becomes her husband”. This a false interpretation of the scripture. This scripture is in no way referring to rape.
To prove this point, let’s look at scripture verses that clearly refer to rape & compare them to Deut. 22:28.
Let’s view the following cases of rape…
Rape Case # 1:
A WOMAN IS AN ADULTERESS IF SHE SLEEPS WITH A MAN & DOESN’T CRY OUT (Rape)
MARRIED WOMAN:
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:22
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel ישראל (YeShaR’AL).
22כי ימצא איש שכב עם אשה בעלת בעל ומתו גם שניהם האיש השכב עם האשה והאשה ובערת הרע מישראל׃
conclusion: NOT RAPE, SHE DOESN’T CRY OUT & THERE IS NO FORCE ON THE MAN’S PART
BETROTHE WOMAN:
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:23
If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; 24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour’s wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.
23כי יהיה נער בתולה מארשה לאיש ומצאה איש בעיר ושכב עמה׃
conclusion:
NOT RAPE, SHE DOESN’T CRY OUT & THERE IS NO FORCE ON THE MAN’S PART
Rape Case # 2:
A MAN FINDS A WOMAN WHO IS NOT BETROTHED & FORCES HER TO SLEEP WITH HIM, SHE CRIES OUT, BUT THERE IS NO ONE TO SAVE HER
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:25
But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die. 26 But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: 27 For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her.
25ואם בשדה ימצא האיש את הנער המארשה והחזיק בה האיש ושכב עמה ומת האיש אשר שכב עמה לבדו׃
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:26
But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as WHEN A MAN RISETH AGAINST HIS NEIGHBOUR & SLAYETH him, EVEN SO IS THIS MATTER:
26ולנער לא תעשה דבר אין לנער חטא מות כי כאשר יקום איש על רעהו ורצחו נפש כן הדבר הזה׃
this verse clearly states that rape is the same as murder & to be treated as such with a death penalty.
25 But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man FORCE HER, and lie with her:…27 for he FOUND HER IN THE FIELD & the betrothed DAMSEL CRIED, & there was NONE TO SAVE HER.
27כי בשדה מצאה צעקה הנער המארשה ואין מושיע לה׃
key words of rape:
FOUND IN THE FIELD
FORCE
DAMSEL CRIED
NONE TO SAVE HER
conclusion:
THIS IS A CLEAR VERSE ABOUT RAPE. THERE IS NO AMOUNT OF MONEY THAT CAN BE PAID FOR RAPING A WOMAN; THE PAYMENT IS WITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU RAPE SOMEONE. ITS A SIN WORTHY OF DEATH.
Rape Case #3:
A MAN SLEEPS WITH A WOMAN NOT BETROTHE & WITHOUT ASKING THE FATHER FOR HER HAND IN MARRIAGE.
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:28
If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed & lay hold on her, & lie with her, & they be found; 29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, & she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
28כי ימצא איש נער בתולה אשר לא ארשה ותפשה ושכב עמה ונמצאו׃
29ונתן האיש השכב עמה לאבי הנער חמשים כסף ולו תהיה לאשה תחת אשר ענה לא יוכל שלחה כל ימיו׃
conclusion: NOT RAPE, SHE DID NOT CRY OUT, WHICH INDICATES NO FORCE
READ IT AGAIN; Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:28 for yourself.
- How can you call it rape? It was consensual SEX.
- because he humbled her & layed with her, he had to make her his wife (if the father approves, Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 22:17)
- Sex doesn’t make you married, if it requires a father’s approval. This is the first step to marriage. Asking for permission; from the father if she is young & from the woman if she is older & free to marry.
DANGER FOR SISTERS WHO BELIEVES HAVING SEX MAKES YOU MARRIED!!!
Sisters, we are in great danger, if we believe that having sex makes you married. This means that a man who rapes a woman is married to her. Some wicked Israel ישראל (YeShaR’AL)ites, believe this… Watch this video…
Reason #3Why Having Sex Does Not Make you Married..
-WOMAN WHO ARE BETROTHE ARE CONSIDERED TO BE A WIFE & SUBJECT TO THE LAWS OF ADULTERY SHOULD SHE CHEAT
BETROTHE or BETROTHAL – The written promise to marry
Betrothal is a period of time before the marriage takes place. It is a written contract to marry in the future. A Betrothe woman is considered a wife in the scriptures & subject to the laws of adultery should she sleep with another man besides her espoused husband.
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 20:7
And what man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her? let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man take her.
7ומי האיש אשר ארש אשה ולא לקחה ילך וישב לביתו פן ימות במלחמה ואיש אחר יקחנה׃
A BETROTHE WOMAN IS SUBJECT TO THE LAWS OF ADULTERY; SAME AS A MARRIED WOMAN
Deuteronomy דברים (DaBaR’eyM) 22:23
If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; 24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour’s wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.
23כי יהיה נער בתולה מארשה לאיש ומצאה איש בעיר ושכב עמה׃
24והוצאתם את שניהם אל שער העיר ההוא וסקלתם אתם באבנים ומתו את הנער על דבר אשר לא צעקה בעיר ואת האיש על דבר אשר ענה את אשת רעהו ובערת הרע מקרבך׃
THIS BETROTHE WOMAN IS CALLED A WIFE WITHOUT EVEN HAVING KNOWN A MAN. SHE IS PROOF THAT IT IS NOT A TRADITION FOR HEBREWS TO MARRY WITHOUT A COVENANT AGREEMENT. A BETROTHE WOMAN IS UNDER A COVENANT WITH A HUSBAND TO BE CONSUMMATE AT A FUTURE DATE. BUT, SHE IS ALREADY MARRIED IN THE EYES OF YAH & BOUND TO HER HUSBAND UPON SIGNING THAT COVENANT AGREEMENT.
LINKS:
Betrothal THE BETROTHAL Difference between a promise and a betrothal. A promise of marriage among the Jews of Bible times might mean an engagement without anything definite. There could be a number of engagements broken off. It was the betrothal that was binding, rather than a mere promise of marriage. The promise might be set aside, but a betrothal entered into was considered as fina1. The betrothal a covenant. http://www.bible-history.com/links.php?cat=39&sub=759&cat_name=Manners+%26+Customs&subcat_name=Betrothal
Betrothal
The betrothal was a binding, covenant to marry. It could not be broken. Papers were signed. There was a ceremony for the betrothal in which the families of both bride and groom met, along with two witnesses. The groom gave the bride a ring, or some other token of value, and said to her, “See by this ring [or this token] thou art set apart for me, according to the law of Moses and of Israel ישראל (YeShaR’AL).” Betrothal is not a wedding. The wedding is not performed for at least a year after the betrothal.
Rings are not a pagan custom as some believe.
Read it in
Exodus שמות (ShuMuTh) 35:22
And they came, both men and women, as many as were willing hearted, and brought bracelets, and earrings, and rings, and tablets, all jewels of gold: and every man that offered offered an offering of gold unto יהוה (Yahuah).
22ויבאו האנשים על הנשים כל נדיב לב הביאו חח ונזם וטבעת וכומז כל כלי זהב וכל איש אשר הניף תנופת זהב ליהוה׃
Solomon 5:15
His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl:
15שוקיו עמודי שש מיסדים על אדני פז מראהו כלבנון בחור כארזים׃
The Dowry
The perspective groom was required to offer the bride’s family compensation, called a dowry, for the fact that losing the daughter caused some inconvenience to her family. She usually helped the family with shepherding or working the fields, and thus the family was losing a worker.
If the groom could not give the bride’s family cash, he would work it off in service. This is what Jacob did when he sought to marry Rachel. http://lambservant.hubpages.com/hub/Unusual-Bible-Customs-Old-and-New-Testaments
Reason #4 Why Having Sex Does Not Make you Married..
HAVING SEX WITHOUT A COVENANT AGREEMENT
What does it mean when you have sex without a covenant agreement?
If you have sex & think afterwards your married. You run the extremely high risk of being a fornicator, whore or harlot! Why? Because there are no documents in your defense otherwise & no witnesses to the marriage. A True Married woman has a Document that states vows exchanged, promises & stipulations in the marriage. Think about it this way, if you need a paper to divorce in the law, why wouldn’t you need one to get married?
If you are tricked by a man to believe that, having sex makes you married, without any witness to his vows to marry you (if he even gave them at all, most who believe this lie, don’t ever give vows or have witnesses to them), he could turn & leave you the very next day after he has slept with you.
Then you will be a fornicator, in the eyes of Yah & man.
FORNICATION:
Fornication in the Old Testament usually refers to Harlot, Whoredom, or go a Whoring.
Fornication in the New Testament comes from the the Greek words “porneia” which means fornication, or illicit sexual intercourse (sex with someone you are not married to), and “pornos”, which is Greek for fornicator, or someone who is involved in illicit sexual activity.
So, a Porno- is a video of someone in the act of Whoredom or Harlotry.
CONCUBINE or COVENANT WIFE
Are you a Wife or a Concubine? Without a covenant agreement with a man, you might be a concubine & not wife with the full rights & respect. In the Manakahthey language, there is no official word for wife because a married woman was called “a woman”. The translators called a woman wife. The translators told you that a concubine was a wife and you drew out your conclusion. The word concubine is not even an Manakahthey word, it has a foreign origin. Concubine is a woman without morals and loose.
Did Yah make covenant with his people?
The nation of Israel ישראל (YeShaR’AL) was married to Yahuah by a covenant which he made with Abraham & Isaac & Jacob. While he gives rain to the other nations & provides for them. His wife is Israel ישראל (YeShaR’AL). Do you really want to be a Concubine?
SUMMARY GET MARRIED BY MAKING A COVENANT AGREEMENT
- Get married with a Covenant Agreement
- Ask the Father for Permission & Give the proper dowry gifts if she is a virgin
- Have Witnesses to the vows each of you make, to keep you accountable in how you say your going to treat each other
Examples of Covenant Marriage in the Scriptures
Yah compared being Married to Israel ישראל (YeShaR’AL)
Ezekiel יחזקאל (YeKahZaQu’AL) 16:7-13
7 I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the field, and thou hast increased and waxen great, and thou art come to excellent ornaments: thy breasts are fashioned, and thine hair is grown, whereas thou wast naked and bare. 8 Now when I passed by thee, and looked upon thee, behold, thy time was the time of love; and I spread my skirt over thee, and covered thy nakedness: yea, I sware unto thee, and entered into a covenant with thee, saith the Sovereign יהוה (Yahuah), and thou becamest mine.
9 Then washed I thee with water; yea, I throughly washed away thy blood from thee, and I anointed thee with oil. 10 I clothed thee also with broidered work, and shod thee with badgers’ skin, and I girded thee about with fine linen, and I covered thee with silk. 11 I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. 12 And I put a jewel on thy forehead, and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. 13 Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work; thou didst eat fine flour, and honey, and oil: and thou wast exceeding beautiful, and thou didst prosper into a kingdom.
7רבבה כצמח השדה נתתיך ותרבי ותגדלי ותבאי בעדי עדיים שדים נכנו ושערך צמח ואת ערם ועריה׃
8ואעבר עליך ואראך והנה עתך עת דדים ואפרש כנפי עליך ואכסה ערותך ואשבע לך ואבוא בברית אתך נאם אדני יהוה ותהיי לי׃
9וארחצך במים ואשטף דמיך מעליך ואסכך בשמן׃
10ואלבישך רקמה ואנעלך תחש ואחבשך בשש ואכסך משי׃
11ואעדך עדי ואתנה צמידים על ידיך ורביד על גרונך׃
12ואתן נזם על אפך ועגילים על אזניך ועטרת תפארת בראשך׃
13ותעדי זהב וכסף ומלבושך ששי ומשי ורקמה סלת ודבש ושמן אכלתי ותיפי במאד מאד ותצלחי למלוכה׃
Malachi מלאכי (MaLa’AKey) 2:14
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because יהוה (Yahuah) hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
14ואמרתם על מה על כי יהוה העיד בינך ובין אשת נעוריך אשר אתה בגדתה בה והיא חברתך ואשת בריתך׃